he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
