nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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