Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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