My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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