this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
