I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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