she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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