i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she looked like the before picture.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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