Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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