Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
