I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
