I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
