i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
