He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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