you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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