My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
