Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
