So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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