the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
