watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
