Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
