Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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