hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
