I am puke
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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