whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
