There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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