So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
