he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
