i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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