Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
