I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
