Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize