He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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