Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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