why didn't you poke me back
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
