Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
