As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
