Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
