if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just invented taco cereal.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
