I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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