after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
