She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
