About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
