There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
