Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
