you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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