she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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