Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
