no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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