Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
