return my video game
I think I died a long time ago.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
