how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
