finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I would ride that face into the sunset
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
