Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
