Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We named our party play list daddy issues
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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