am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
